I’m so sick of myself I could scream. Sick of attempting to lose weight and failing. Oh, it’s my own fault – for sure – but finding that “willpower” or “inner strength” or whatever you want to call it seems impossible.
I’ve been going to WW for about 5 or 6 months and to be honest, I weigh weekly (pretty much) but don’t go to any of the meetings. YES – I know. I will have a good week or two and then I will gain again or stay the same or whatnot. I’ve definitely lost while I’ve been there – but not consistently. I just can’t stand myself. My daily failures. My weakness when it comes to saying no to food. It’s pathetic. These past two weeks have been the worst. Sure I could state increased stress, upheaval in my schedule, hectic life, etc. but the truth is – I eat a healthy breakfast, healthy lunch and then between about 5 and 8 all hell break’s loose. No joke.
So here is why I am posting this today. I’m putting this very touchy, personal subject out there for all to see. I am going to give my all to WW starting Monday (no no no now wait a minute – it’s not that whole monday mentality – it’s because I have two events this weekend where food is the primary focus and to start now would just result in immediate failure – so deal) for the next six months. By the end of 2014 if I have not broken this cycle and have started losing consistently (not looking for miracles) – then in 2015 I am going to start looking at weight loss surgery. (And don’t tell me horror stories here about WLS – I already know – but I need SOMETHING to show me some loss so I can see the reasoning behind eating healthfully instead of doing it will little to no results because I can’t keep it up on my own)
Basically I’m at the end of my rope. More details regarding my plan to come.